Beautiful Boy
by Depp1987
Summary: The bond grows, Jules gts in the picture, and Scott realizes what makes him stand out in collge app essays. R&R! :-
1. Chapter 1

" NO, NO, GET AWAY!" Scott was screaming and in a deep nightmare.

" Scott, shhhh, wake up." Peter was shaking him.

" No..." he woke up to see Peter's caring eyes.

" It's over now?"

" Yes." he cried into Peter's shoulder and he stroked his head.

" Easy, babe, I'm here now." Scott closed his eyes against Peter's face. He couldn't help shuddering at the shadows under the door.

" It's alright now. No one's gonnna hurt while I'm here." he kissed him on the side of the head and held him tightly ro his chest. The poor boy was trebling.

" I'm ok?" Peter nodded.

" You just stay here and let me hold you. Your jumping out of your skin, bud." Scott was relived

" My tummy hurts." he whimpered.

" It'll be over soon." Peter was rocking him back and forth in his arms, Scott felt like a five year old afraid of the dark.

" She... I... its my fault." Peter shushed him.

" I'd kill her if I could." Peter whispered.

" Peter..." he was mentally and physically exhausted and didn't know what to say.

Here, this will help." Peter gently lifted Scott's head to his chest so he could here the beating of Peter's heart. Thump, thump, thump, the sound was singing Scott to sleep.

" She's in my head." he squirmed to get away from her.

" Easy, easy, buddy. Nothing's gonna happen to you while I'm here." Scot continued to tremble and shake, Peter all the while stroked him and rubbed his head.

" I'm so scared." Peter held him close and rubbed his head.

" I'll always be here for you..." Scott cut him off.

" She hates me!" he was angry about something.

" Sophie."

"No, baby she doesn't hate you." Peter assured him with a kiss on the head.

" Then..." Peter hushed him.

" Shhhh, it's bedtime sweetie." They both turned to see Sophie in the doorway.

" I don't hate you, Scott." Sophie whispered gently.

" See, baby she doesn't hate you." Peter smiled.

" I'm tired, Peter." Scott rolled over in his counselor's lap.

" OK, sweetie." Scott leaned into the kiss by Peter, eyeing Sophie.

" Scott" Sophie whispered gently, he turned and looked her on the brink of tears.

" I don't hate you." she approached him and took his hand.

" OK" he whispered.

" Did he go to the bathroom?" she asked Peter quietly.

" Scotty, go to the bathroom w/ Sophie." Peter whispered into his half sleeping little boy.

" I don't need to." he said dully.

" yes you do." he eased Scott up and led him to Sophie.

" you ok?" the warm stall was comforting and safe.

" Mhhhmmm" he wasn't, his tummy was a brick and nothing came out.

" here." she gently rubbed his tummy w/ soft, warm hands.

" my belly hurts." he was more vulnerable than she'd ever seen him.

" tell me if your afraid of me touching anywhere?" she moved along his naval and rubbed his legs. Down, under, over, through, and back to the beginning. She gave him kisses and stroked his checks, his bladder and tummy didn't realize they were empty. He could think of only one word for her.

" mommy." he whispered, as he expelled the last of his urine. She smiled and helped him stand and pulled his jeans up and fastened them.

" here we are." Sophie said as they came back to Peter's office, Scott laid down in peter's inviting arms, the boy cooed as he felt his belly being rubbed.

" was he afraid of you..." she stopped him.

" No, I've never seen a kid so open. Is that goos or.." Peter interrupted.

" Yes, I think it is." he stroked Scott's head and kissed his soft, blonde hair.

" He's ours. Forever." Sophie grinned. Peter never saw her so happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch.2

" I'm SOOO jealous." Daisy mumbled.

" He's in pain." Shelby whispered.

" Can we go in?" asked Auggie quietly. The door opened and Sophie appeared.

" Come on, he needs you, more than ever." the kids all followed, no one knew what to except.

" hey Scotty, u ok?" Jules asked gently.

" Mhhhmmm." he mumbled and turned over in Peter's arms. Sophie bent down and rubbed his belly, Scott felt, for the first time, safe.

" he's very tired." Peter whispered to the others and everyone stayed quiet.

" We're here for ya, pal. More than ever now." whispered Auggie. Scott was slowly drifting off to sleep.

" G'night, sweetie." Peter whispered stroking his head. Scott cuddled back into Peter's lap and fell right to sleep.

" He seems very worn out... maybe we should go?" Shelby asked the others.

" Stay if u want... this is going to mean a change for the entire group." peter said, he was gently rocking back and forth with Scott in his arms.

" He's going to need intense one on one treatment from us. That means u guys are going to have a sch change. I'll let u know when I work out the details." the others nodded.

" how could any1's parents not believe them?" auggie asked shocked.

" we don't know, it's mind boggling." Sophie answered.

" Is he gonna be OK?" asked Shelby

" Yes. In time." Peter replied. Everyone began to leave for bed, and Peter sighed, looking at the new project in front of him.

Scott snuggled down in Peter's lap. He was safe , and secure. He heard his own tummy growl and hoped Peter would ignore it.

" someone didn't have dinner did they?" Scott avoided his glance.

" Eat." Peter was sitting with him at the dining hall.

" I know you feel icky but you NEED to eat, please honey." Peter was spoon feeding him every so often, but he knew after today's events Scott wasn't going to get much in.

" You excused from classes the next week and a half. I need to get your phsyche back to normal" he could tell Scott was falling asleep as he talked. He scooped up his new one on one and laid him on the bed in the office.

" I... I..." Scott was trying to get the words out.

" What is it, baby?" Peter smiled.

" I love you!" Scott let the breathe come out of him, and began to cry for fear of rejection that he'd gotten that day. Peter enveloped him in a hug and they rocked gently.

" Sophie and I adopted you." Peter mumbled. Scott looked up, and smiled through tears.

" Re... really?" Peter nodded. Scott rested in Peter's arms.

" Stay..." Peter laid his head on the couch next to his son and held him close. He took a pair of headphones and put them on Scott. The lullaby of Bryan Adam's " Wqhen You Love Someone" began to put him to sleep.

WHEN U LOVE SOMEONE


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch. 3**

**Summary:** A daddy's boy and internal demons. The pain that was locked away for years is about to come out.

" Sweetie, is there anything you want us to know about your mom... your real mom." Peter was sitting on the swing outside his office with Scott.

" I... I really loved her." he answered softly, Peter squeezed his shoulder.

" What do you remember about her?" he fidgeted and screwed up his face.

' Nothing really, I think I blocked it out, but... I really miss her." he sobbed quietly into Peter's jacket.

" Shh, it's ok... I'm here. You don't have to fight these demons alone." Scott looked up through tears and laid his head under Peter's chin.

" Daddy..." he held him tighter and let him cry.

" let it out baby... just let it all come out." Scott closed his eyes and listened to his father's heart beat.

" Everything will be OK. Mommy and I will make sure of it. We love you, baby." Scott felt so loved he never wanted to leave his state.

" I'm so glad I finally found you... I never thought anyone would love me every again." he whispered. Peter tightened his grip and smoothed Scott's hair.

" Shh, shh, that is not true. I love you, mommy loves you, your friends, everyone... we're here for you." Scott gave a jaw cracking yawn and snuggled close to Peter.

" Good idea, let's take a nap." Peter stopped as he saw six eyes staring at them. He motioned for them to come, every silently went over and sat down near the broken teen.

" Normally I hate sharing the spotlight but..." Daisy stopped and looked at her friend. It was no secret she was the favorite up until now.

" Look on the bright side, you get to kill 2 bords with one stone." Ezra grinned, hoping he would smile.

" He's almost out guys, nice job." Peter whispered, he looked at Shelby.

" Give him a kiss goodnight, he cried for you last night." she said nothing, and pecked him on the top of the head.

" C'mon baby." Peter saw with every pick up Scott got lighter and lighter.

" Tired, Daddy." he whined

" yea buddy I know the feeling."

The leaves rustled and the wid sang a lullaby to a sleeping boy that had demons whirling around in his head. They haunted his dreams. But the boy who had een looking for love, eventually foud it waiting w/ open arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ch. 4 Tears**

As the days wore on, Peter went to work trying to fix Scott. The boy was making leaps and bounds and could finally talk without tears. The days were spent doing a series of trust exercises, trust techniques, and bonding to new parents. The demons however, were still there.

" he looks so tired." Sophie said as Scott sat on the swing outside the office writing in his journal.

" he's been up late with me doing stuff. I;'m worried about the nightmares, they aren't getting any better." Peter's eyes misted. The crying was some he would never get used to.

" Mommy." Sophie looked up and saw her son standing there like a five year old up past his bedtime.

" What is it honey." Sophie opened her arms and Scott came right to her this time.

" Are you mad that Daddy's letting me stay up past my bedtime?" he giggled.

" No baby, if your father KNOWS what he's doing." she eyed Peter.

" How about a drink?" Peter got up and made Scott the usual thing he did when th e kids were doing one on one work, cocoa.

" K, thanks Daddy." he leaned back in his mother's lap and grinned. It was only 4:00 and Scott's eyes were getting heavy. He sat up and sipped the cocoa, with Peter there for support.

" How about we take a little rest before supper." his mom suggested.

" I think I'm going to sleep right through it, Mommy." Scott's dark circles got bigger.

" OK, I'll have it here for you when you get up. It's no problem, baby." Scott looked slightly disappointed. He'd wanted to eat with his friends.

Scott loved to be tucked in, and he loved his Mommy's tummy rubs. His Daddy always whispered to im as he closed his eyes,

" Good night sleep tight, and Daddy's arms will keep you safe at night." The rhyme always gave him a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It was the one thing that kept the nightmares away longer.

" did Mommy take you to the bathroom?" Peter asked quietly. As if on cue Scott felt the urge hot him.

" No..." he screwed up his face. His father gently felt his bloated tummy and with gentle arms eased him off the bed. They walked very slowly, and Peter supported him under the arms so he wouldn't fall.

They made their way into the bathroom and the welcoming warmth came back to him. His jeans being pulled down, his body being lowered, and his father moving down to catch him around the waist for additional body comfort.

" It's OK, just wait, be patient with it, I'm right here sweet heart. Relax, relax, relax, listen tto my voice. I love you so much, baby, let it go, let everything go and listen to my voice. Everything will be alright, honey." Scott kept his eyes on Peter, he never truly realized he was physically exposed, all he had was warmth, love, and comfort.

" Should this normally be all awkward?" Scott met his father's eyes. He never even oticed that he went and stayed still.

" a month ago, yea maybe. You went sweetie." Peter smiled, he helped him stand and cleaned him gently.

" I never actually got to thank you." Scott said as he stood at the sink, looking in the mirror.

" For what?" Peter asked putting his arms around him.

" Foe saving my life."

" A son should never thank a father for such a thing."

" I love you."

" No, sweetie I LOVE YOU!" Scott turned and playfully slashed water at him.

" Oh, OK, this is war." he threw a paper towel at him as they ran back to the office shoving each other along th way. Scott crawled onto the couch and nestled into his father arms.

" here we go..." Peter put the napkin under his chin and began feeding him. He saw his son get watery eyed and stopped.

" I need to talk to Shelby." he said in a cry baby voice.

" Eat first, talk later." Scott bite his lip. His tummy had other plans and growled loudly.

" No full belly, no Shelby." Peter said sternly. His tummy gave a violent shove and protested in hunger, he grabbed it to try and numb the pain.

" Help..." Peter stopped him.

" I am , I'm going to feed you. C'mon, open up for Daddy." Scott weakly open his mouth and Peter began to soothe his empty tummy.

The unwelcomed shadows found their way under the door and Scott's heart jumped a few feet. His demons began filling his head with awful and untrue thoughts that made his tears come faster.

" that's enough for now. Now we rub and get everything down." he massaged his belly and throat to get the digesting going. Scott buried his face in his father's shoulder, using Peter's cologne for his oxygen source.

" You'll do all the crazy things, that you can't explain..." Peter soft lullaby chased his son's evil dreams away like a pack of dogs after a fox.

" There now, all better." he turned and saw the Cliffhangers knocking on the window.

" We're not leaving you." Daisy came in and sat down next to her broken friend as Ezra, Augie, Shelby, and Kat crowded around her.

" Friends is what matters, we're not anything less." Ezra smiled. Shelby took the fork from Peter and began feeding him.

" C'mon, we can't get back together as a group without you." Kat said in an attempt to get him to eat more.

" Honey, I need to know that your getting proper nutrition before you go back to school."

" Peter, I need to talk to you." Frank was standing in the doorway. Everyone exchanged glances. Scott stiffened.

" Ok... honey take this little one, and I'll... be back in a second." he left Scott in Sophie's lap and went outside. Scott watched them through the window and burst into tears.

**TBC... IT GETS GOOD!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Ch.5 The Talk**

" He's your child now?" Frank asked quietly.

" Yes, ours." Peter answered back indefinitely.

" You realize what this will cause amongst the others, no?"

" He's our son, and we love him. The others have no issues w/it!" Peter was starting to lose it.

" They **ARE NOT** the only ones here! We can't have angry parents saying that their kids aren't getting enough attention!" Frank shot back.

" Its done and there's nothing I am going to do to change it."

" Peter..."

" NO! It will kill him and I'm not sacrificing my son or the group for that matter to satisfy everyone else. If they have issues, then find alternate placement." he turned on his heel and walked up the stairs slamming the door behind him.

" It's OK, baby..." Sophie whispered.

" Scottie, baby I'm right here." Peter ran over and took his son's hand.

" Daddy..." Peter hushed him.

" It's OK, sleep now. Shhh, shh." the whoosh of his father's voice sent Scott right to dream land.

**SHORT, I KNO... SKOOLS BEEN A FUCKING BITCH! MORE 2 COME.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ch. 6 Vulnerable**

" When can I go back to school?" Scott asked, he was siting with his mom and dad at diner. Peter eyed Sophie.

" Soon, baby. Very soon." Sophie said.

" This year... I'm not getting left back, am I?" Scott said in a small voice.

" NO! Of course not, pumpkin..." Peter reached over and squeezed his hand.

" Honey, this is a big step for all of us. Your friends want to make sure you're OK too." Scott nodded.

" Baby, eat more, your getting too thin." Peter said, he spooned rice into Scott's mouth.

" Daddy's right. Why aren't you eating honey, we're worried." Sophie asked.

" Its weird... I feel hungry in my belly but the look of food makes my tummy get sick, like I wanna puke." Peter stroked his check for a second.

" then don't push it, if you have a belly ache then eat until you think your belly's full." Sophie said.

" OK, mommy." Scott tried to eat until his tummy felt full.

The steam clouded the bathroom like a smoke stack, but Peter didn't care. The warmth radiated on him and Scott like a cloud in the sky. All that could be heard was thw whoosh of the humidifier on the sink.

" Lift up..." Peter poured hot water under Scott's neck.

" good boy, you're such a good boy." he repeated the process along his chest.

" Feels good..." Peter smiled. Scott's brain had regressed to the pint of a seven year old, and Peter was enjoying every second of it.

" I love you, hey I ,love you." he ran a finger over his son's face and Scott looked up at him with adoring, baby eyes.

" All done?" Peter asked softly, Scott nodded. He drained the tube and wrapped his son in a warm towel. Scott felt that his father was a gift from God, that He somehow knew Scott was in need.

" C'mon let's get you warm." Peter dressed him in a warm set of pj's and wrapped him in a blanket.

" Can we read the Bible?" Peter smiled. He had used the Serenity Prayer in rehab and knew it by heart. The fact that his son as doing the same thing made him fill up with tears of joy.

" of course we can, sweetie." Peter pulled his son into his arms and they read the Bible and Peter explained the importance of faith. Scott rested in Peter's arms and fell into a deep sleep, cuddling Peter's shirt.

" Baby, can yo hear here?" Peter bit his lip.

" No, I only gear you Daddy." Scott looked at him confused. They smiled at one another and listened to the crickets outside. Peter smiled down at his son, it wasn't his fault about the ddrugs, it was out of his control entirely.

" You are beautiful no matter what they say..." Peter lulled th ords into his ears and he knew his son heard them.

" G'night Daddy." Scott smiled.

" Good night my baby. Mommy and Daddy love you VERY much." Peter kissed him and Scott cuddled him closely.

_**BEAUTIFUL**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 Loverboy**

" is chem always this boring?" Shelby was about to fall asleep on Augie.

" Uhhh, just stop, please Shel." Daisy said, she was already annoyed with the lack of attention she was getting from Peter.

" Well, at least you've got your loverboy." Shelby said, she picked up her stuff and walked out with out a word.

" God, these mood swings have got to stop. I can't take it." Augie said.

" Surprised he hasn't run out after her." said Jules.

" Do me a favor, just don't jump on him..." Sophie gave Shelby a warning look.

" Don't worry, I know what I'm doing." she walked into the house and saw Scott sitting on the couch.

" you missed an awesome chem lab." she saw she was getting no response.

" Shel... look, I can't deal with this now. I've no energy to take you on." he got up and walked into the kitchen.

" and that's supposed to mean..." she asked, confused.

" You know what it means, I'm not spelling it out for you." he got the water pitcher out and poured some into a glass.

" Look, just go back to the dorm, I'll have Mom and Dad talk to you guys later in group." she didn't say a word, and walked out. Scott flopped on the couch and sighed.

" I think someone needs their nap earlier than usual." Sophie said, Scott laid down on the couch and Sophie sat on the end, stroking his check.

' I'm so tired..." she put her fingers to her lips.

" Close your eyes, Mommy's here with you."


	8. Chapter 8

**Ch.8 Resistance**

" So guys, what's new with everyone?" Peter and Sophie were with everyone in group.

" Everything's cool." Jules said.

" I failed the chem test." Ezra said.

" I think it's a full moon tonight." Daisy said.

" There's a new lunch lady in the mess hall." Augie said.

" I think my mother called me." said Kat. Everyone had spoken except Shelby.

" Sweetheart, he's sleeping." Peter said gently, she stared at the floor.

" I don't give a damn!" she stared into the distance.

" And I think you're in denial..." she cut him off.

" You don't know **_me_**!" she screamed and started to run out the door. Peter took off after her.

It was raining and there was lightning streaking the sky. The darkness was as black as a hole. Peter ran and ran, Shelby was nowhere in sight.

_Just keep running, just keep..._ she feel head first down the ravine. Her thoughts jumbled and she got up and took off again. Peter stood in front of her.

" No, get away from me! get away!" she stared past him but he grabbed her in his arms, she struggled all the way and screamed like she was being murdered. He sat down with her fform in his arms, she squirmed and fought, crying.

" NO! Don't touch me. Get away!" she fought him, scratching her hands on rocks, cutting them.

" Baby girl, no, shh..." he worked her into a fetal position and Shelby remembered where she was and wept to her counselor.

" Peter, I..." he hushed her amd the rocked. It was raining but she didn't care, they were making a break though. It was the first adult male she'd gotten close to since the abuse.

" It's going to be OK, baby girl. Sophie and I will take care of you, all of you. Just remember it in here..." he pointed to his heart. Again they cried and held one another.

" I love you, Peter."

" I was waiting for that one, baby girl." he smoothed her hair and they cuddled close. He rocked her, stroked her check, keeping her safe; what she had needed all along.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch. 9 Because of You**

**Summary: Yes I'm getting cheesy... trust me it works**! **I'm majoring in psych. When I go to Dartmouth in the fall and the books all say trauma leads to eventually childlike qualities SO THAT'S WHERE I GOT IT, DON'T ,LIKE, DON'T READ! IM GONNA BE REAL STRICT W/ THAT, EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP W/ BAD COMMENTS!**

" Baby, can we talk?" Peter asked softly, Scott was sitting on the swing. He grinned.

" Sure Daddy, what's wrong?" Peter settled down behind him, cradling him in his lap. The security was the most important to them both. Peter began to sway back and forth, humming **Open Arms**. Scott nuzzled him, and moaned happily,

" Why did you adopt me?" he looked up at his father with, eyes that resembled a five year old.

" Sweetheart, you were so wounded from your mom and dad that I had no choice. Your mother was stupid enough to give up custody of you and that to me is inexcusable. They both are responsible." Scott seemed satisfied and closed his eyes against Peter's chest.

" You're too perfect for us. I think I spoiled her a little." he grinned. Scott was about to drop off to dreamland when Sophie tiptoed out.

" Jules is having a breakdown and she needs you, and ONLY you!" he sighed and whiskered it to their sleeping child.

" I'll be back soon, honey" he kissed him on the head and took off for Juliette.

?&&&&&&&&&&&

" Jules, what happened?" Peter knelt by her side and saw her holding her wrist.

" Peter, Peter, are you sending me away... please don't..." he put a hand up.

" What, no, baby girl, NO never... come here." he cradled a shaking Jules in his arms and held her, being the rock she needed.

" I... I didn;t do anything..." she was crying and he hushed her.

" I love you, Jules. I love all of you, I will always be here for you, honey." she looked up and saw his eyes brim with tears.

" I love you too Peter, so much." again they held each other and wept.

" Give me the glass." he said firmly. She sat up and handed him a jagged piece from her mirror.

" I... I need though, it's really bad Peter." she whispered.

" here. Hold onto me. I'm the pain reliever around her." she did and wrapped him in a death grip. They hugged, and he kissed on soft hair, she smiled through happy tears. He curved her body into his arms and laid her on the bed.

" I don't feel good..." he stroked her forehead.

" I know, baby." he knelt by her and took her head in his arms.

" I hate it when you get sick over your mother. Jules, sweetie there's no reason to." he whispered.

" I know... I just... oh God Peter." he buried her head in his arms and he let her cry.

" Get it out baby, get it all out..." he blew into her ear and that calmed her down. He massaged her aching tummy that was at this point begging for food. He knew what he had to do, Jules had violated restrictions three times, he needed to force feed her now. He looked down at the sickly teenager and she met his eyes, understanding.

" Come on, open up..." he held soup to her mouth, and she accepted it, thankful for the help.

" There we are, that's a good girl." he wiped her mouth and she smiled at him. Peter's hands felt good on her tummy, they were warm, and made her feel safe and loved; something she hadn't felt in a long time.

❤**$$$&&&&&&**

That's all for now... the scene between Peter and Jules is STRICTLY fluff, I appreciate everyone's comments:-)

GTG- I've had a tummy ache for the past few days, any sug about it really app.


	10. Chapter 10

**Ch. 10**

" Cold?" Peter whispered.

" Yeah... a little." he threw an arm around Scott and held him close.

" Jules OK?"

" Yea, she'll be fine." he nodded and squeezed his father's hand.

" It'll be soon, honey." Scott shrugged. Peter felt what was coming ti him and waited for it.

" Everyone's OK but me, right? I'm sick and a charity case, I can barely eat without puking it all up! I'm just a charity case that everyone feels sorry for and that's it..." Peter shived him on the floor and Scott looked at him shocked.

" **NO, IT WAS NEVER LIKE THAT!** You are my, our child and we love you more than life itself, I have never loved a child like I love you," peter fell on the floor with him and grabbed him. Scott stared at him, and burst into tears again.

" Daddy..." Peter hushed him and rocked him more. Time stopped and Scott lay still. His father laid him in his arms and stroked his face, and smiled.

" I'm sorry..."

" Shhh, it's right on schedule. Anger is the best medicine for you." Scott nodded and Peter lifted him back in bed.

" Close your eyes, give me your hand darlin, am I only dreaming, is this burning, an eternal flame..." Scott smiled through his tears, and wept more.

" My mom used to sing me that song." Peter nodded.

" I know, you wrote the lyrics in your journal. Next time tell me, OK." Scott grinned.

" I love you, Daddy."

" I know, honey. I'm here to stay, but the key component is to communicate with me and Mommy on everything you think is bad." he smiled and Scott nodded.

" Can I write now?"

" Sure baby, go ahead." he kissed him on the check and Scott went of to the den.

_Day 17_

_there is a time to cry and to laugh, and to be sad. Everyone needs to cry, and crying is a good for you. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, or mad. Talk to daddy, and mommy aout everything. Don't lie to them about anything._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

" let him rest, its been a long day for all of us..." Sophie whispered, she held her son in her arms. Peter nodded, and stroked his head.

" he's feeling the effects of the others and their issues. I think I need to take him climbing or something. His teachers tell me he's very quiet since he's been back." Peter smoothed Scott's hair.

" he's been so fussy with me, especially when he gets up. He'll cry for a minute, and then... his brain is still reverting back to the trauma." Peter pulled up his nightshirt, and made his tummy do cartwheels.

" you stole my trick. I used that when..." Peter nodded.

" I know, he wants a tummy rub every time. That's normal, I think its an intimacy thing, his brain is trying to compensate for his body." Peter took him from Sophie, and laid down in bed.

" daddy..." he whispered, Peter stroked his checks.

" yes, Daddy's here." Peter crooned into a free ear, Scott laid on his chest and sighed.

" We'll get there. We'll get there soon, baby. Its just gonna take some time; your gonna be OK, pumpkin. Daddy's never gonna let anything happen to you." Scott nestled down in Peter's arms again.

" hush little baby, don;t say a word, Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird..." Sophie smiled, it was his favorite lullaby.

" daddy its so hard to wait." Peter looked up and struggled for words to make their little boy feel better.

" You must be patient, pumpkin. Its going to take time, but it will get easier... I promise you. Do you believe daddy?" he nodded, and held his father tighter. Peter put him up on his shoulder and began to rocking. His brain was permanently broken and the more Peter saw the more he wanted to get his step mother on child abuse charges, not sexual. That's what angered Peter the most, that they could not get into Scott's head and fight this with their son. The baby qualities were the least of it, that he didn't mind, but the fact that the trauma was still ingrained in him... How were they going to fight that, even with all the hugs and kisses and cuddling in the universe. He put his lips to his son's ear.

" If Daddy could take this from you I would... in a minute baby, do you hear me, I would take this from you so that you wouldn't have to fight this." Sophie put a hand on his shoulder.

" He knows that Peter... believe me he knows that. He's already made progress in the past seven weeks that no one ever thought would happen." Sophie got into bed and held her son close so that Scott was in between both his parents in their loving arms. Scott picked up his head and kissed peter on the cheek.

" Patient, right Daddy?"

" Yes angel, you have to be patient." he laid Scott against his chest, and tried to get him to sleep with his heart beating.

" I'll get some milk for him, a full tummy always works." Peter nodded.

" Daddy, can you sing me a lullaby please?" he whispered, he squeezed Peter hard, and looked up with baby eyes.

" Yesterday, a child came out to wonder..." he stroked Scott's head, and continued to sing while rocking gently. Sophie smiled at them, and thanked God or giving them a perfect little boy.

Peter gently closed the door, and Sophie sighed. It had taken two hours but their baby was finally in dreamland, safe and warm. She wrapped her arms around him, and felt him go tense.

" I'll be right back..." she started to ask him what was wrong but Peter was already out the door to the bunks. He pulled open the door to the girls' dorm and looked at the four beds, Jules was nowhere in sight. He etched along the wall quietly as not to wake the others, and saw the bathroom light on

and opened the door. Juliet was sitting on the floor, wrists pouring out blood.

" _JULES!!_" he could barely breathe as he bent down to her to see the damage. She looked at him, tears streaming down her face.

" Peter, Peter I'm never gonna be good enough for her..." she threw her arms around him crying and shaking.

" Shhh, shhh, baby... There, there, its OK. I'm her pumpkin, its OK I'll fix everything, shhh, its OK honey." he managed to pry her off him and saw that she had nailed the artery perfectly. Blood was everywhere, he stood up and scooped her into his arms.

" Sweetie we have to go to the hospital. You hit a vein, and I can't stop the blood. Here, put your head on my shoulder, that's a girl, shhh, shhh... Its all gonna be OK..."

" Don't send me away..." he stopped her.

" No, you're npt going away. I'll never let anyone take you away from us, baby." he smoothed her hair.

" Promise..." she whimpered.

" I promise."


	12. Chapter 12

**Gone**

**PG13**

"Where are you?" Sophie was shocked awake hearing Scott piecing scream. One that sent chills up her spine.

"Baby, shhhh, Scottie. Honey what's the matter?" he felt the comfort of his mom's arms around him.

"Daddy's gone…" Sophie looked around the room and saw no sign of Peter. No doubt Scott searched the entire house.

"OK, baby I'm sure he's just with your friends." Sophie tried to think why Peter would just leave this early and not tell them.

"He's gone, he's gne, daddy's not here." Scott was shaking, with tears in his eyes. Sophie felt his arms around her neck, all the fear, all the pain he was going through.

"Honey Mommy's right here, there we go. I won't leav you OK, shhh, sshhh…" the phone rang by the bed and Scott jumped.

" Hello,"

" Jules tried to… just take Scott and get over to the hospital."

Jules lay in Peter's arms terrified and crying. He felt like he was soothing Scott because nothing was working. CPS had come and he had assured them that there was no need to commit her, he was the only thing she needed.

" Shhh, its OK honey. Its going to be OK, we're gonna get through this, I promise, nothing's gonna take you away from us. I promised you I'd be your shelter and that's what I'll always be."

" PETER" he looked up and saw Sophie and Scott. His poor baby was white in the face.

"I woke up and you were gone…" tears poured from his little one's eyes. Peter pulled him close, still cradling Jules in his lap. Peter felt tears ting his eyes as he held the two preious teens close.

"Daddy's here, and daddy's always gonna be here. I promise you, do you hear me, Im never going to leave you." Scott's tears were raining on Peter's shirt, shaking as all his pain was ripped open.

"Daddy's here, Daddy's here, that's a good boy it's all OK. Daddy's here for you." Peter whispered into a free ear.

Hours later everyone was back at school, Scott wrapped in Peter's jacket asleep on his shoulder. The night air grew cold, and Pter knew what that meant.

"Here we go…" he pulled Scott's sneakers off, and pulled the blankets up. Scott's red eyes were on Peter.

"Daddy's here, I won't leave you again. God I hope this doesn't put us back weeks, you've done so well." Peter stroked his face gently. Scott's grip got so tight it made Peter's hand go white, his poor baby.

"Daddy…. Don't ever leave me, ever." Peter pulled him into his lap, and rocked him.

"God, you were the best thing that ever happened to us. You know that?"

"Daddy?"

"What baby?"

"I love you so much, I could never be mad at you." Peter signed and held him closer. Scott laid his head down, his ear over Peter's heart.

"If I needed you, would you come to me, call my name…" he sang into Scott's free ear until the moon shone over the horizon.


	13. Chapter 13

**Little One**

**PG13**

"Don't send me away, please…" Sophie held her close and let her cry. Jules had taken a major turn, but had also made progress in other areas.

"Sweetie, shhh… Feel OK, got a tummy ache."

"Yeah," she whispered through her sea of tears. Sophie didn't even see Peter in the doorway, having put Scott to bed finally.

"Its alright my little angel. Listen to me, it will be OK. I promise you, it will be OK. I'm gonna take good care of you." Sophie rocked her, trying to quiet the pain.

"How long has it been?" Peter whispered holding her hand gently.

"I… I… just wanna be loved and know someone cares about me." Peter rubbed her face as the crying continued.

"Here, come on open up. Just until I know your tummy feels OK. Thre we go, that's a good girl." Peter was exhausted. He had been up all night with Scott and now Juliet.

"What if I throw up?"

"Baby that's not a problem. That's the least of it." Peter gently wiped her mouth.

" Petr it hurts…"

" I know angel, I know. Come on open, that's a good girl." Feeding her reminded him so much of her at fifteen, barely having weight on and having to force feed her. All that time and the bond had grown from there. Her rubbed her tummy, and rocked her gently.

"Can I spend my restriction here?" her voice barely audible from lack of food and sleep. After Scott, how could he say no.

"Honey, let's do one thing at a time. Just focus on my hand, let it quiet everything down first. Let me just get your body back to normal…" on impulse, Jules reached out wrapped her arms around Peter.

"I love you…"

"I know honey, I love you too." Jules closed her eyes, enjoying being held and loved with not having to perform.

" Scott what are you doing up?"

"Ezra woke me by knocking on the window." Sophie padded down the hall, and opened the door.

"Is Jules OK?"

"Ez its one in the morning… Why?"

"We heard in class she killed herself." He whispered. Sophie looked in and called for Peter.

"Why aren't you asleep?" he grabbed him by the shirt, and playfully pulled him inside. Scott laughed with him.

"Seriously, daisy picked funeral clothes, we were all so scared. I know you couldn't wake the girls, but a note woulda been a plus."

" Peter I don't feel good." Juliet whispered.

" Come on sweetie, let'd get you bsck to bed. You too pumpkin.." h grabbed Scott's hand.

"Daddy is she gonna be alright." Scott asked softly as Peter gently rubbed his head.

"Sweetie I promise, nothing bad's going to happen to her.. We won't let that happen." Peter kissed his forehead.

"Now come on, you have school tomorrow." Peter started rocking him gently as he want through a list for a lullaby.

"Daddy my tummy hurts…" Peter saw the baby eyes look up at him.

"OK, OK, I'm right here. Listen to me, I won't leave you." Peter whispered continuing to rub is forehead.

"The… the first time you hugged me.. I.. I felt like you were my dad already. I didn't wanna believe it because I thought it was weird… But you were the only love I had." Scott talked through his sobs, as Peter's grip tightened.

"My baby, my little one… You were meant to me mine. Forever." Peter said, tears starting to well in his eyes. Scott closed his eyes against Peter's chest, soaking in the love of his father.

"Why is it so hard…"

"Its just another thing we have to overcome honey. But now you have me and mommy with you."

"Can you sing m the lullaby. The one about the Circle?"

"Sure, here put your arms around. There we go." Peter rocked and sang to him until Scott's dreams were filled with the love of him, and Sophie. And that would never change.


	14. Chapter 14

Healing

PG13

As the night turned into day Peter knew that the time was going to have to come to handle what had happened with Jules. He hated having to but he couldn't ignore what had happed. Jules came over to the sofa and laid her head in his lap.

"Am I in trouble?" she asked a watery voice.

"Sweetie I think we need to just get everything out on the table. These are episodes that are totally out of the blue, and they are becoming more frequent." Peter whispered, rubbing her head softly.

"I… I… I didn't wanna tell you and Soph the day they searched my room because… I didn't want the whole universe finding out about how a mom can b such a control freak and mentally abuse hr daughter. I… I… wanted it to be just us safe room everyone. I'm not trying to be untrue with you, or like you can't trust me…" Peter pulled her up, and she crawled into his lap, sobbing.

"Pumpkin, the thing you did is gain control from her using negative ways. Baby, look at you you're sick all over again.. God all our hard work, and I'm NOT gonna let her sabotage that!! Neither is Sophie. Jules, she's pushed me over the edge…"

"ME!"

"No, no baby not you, that lunatic, polygamist…" a giggle erupted from Jules as she looked up at Peter.

"Now come on, we have to start slow." He gntly put an arm around her, and held the bread with the other hand. Her body started shaking from lack of nutrition. She looked at him, and her eyes said nothing but 'help me'.

"Here, open up. Come on that's a good girl. There we go, I'm here, I'm right here baby. Sshhh, shhhh, there we go almost there almost done."

"I think I'm gonna be sick…" Peter moved over and got a bowl.

" already got that covered." H whispered, gently laying her down.

"I'm so afraid… when I don't have you around anymore. What am I gonna do, all alone." Peter pulled her close, and gently blew into her ear. Ten seconds later she started gagging, and the little bit of food came up.

"Oh, that's OK honey. Perfectly normal what just happened… That's alright." He looked up and saw his wife and Scott. Sophie bent down in front of her.

"Jules honey, that's OK. Peter I warned you abut that." Scott could sense a fight brewing, and jumped in.

"OK, Jules is the priority now, I'll agree with you though daddy doesn't think all the time." He cracked a grin. Peter was surprised at the hands on approach Scott just took, it almost brought tears to his eyes.

"OK, little one why don't you go get cleaned up, and I'll meet you at the lodge." Scott grinned and went to his room.

He hated keeping anything from Peter. And this was no better, he had to tell him. But that would mean admitting he was weak and still had Elaine in his head. And what about the love of his parents that fed him, rocked him, cleaned him, and hld him as he cried in pain. Why was this not enough to fight the demons he had. He laid on the bathroom floor, and looked at the razor.

_Unhuhh, I'm stronger than you. I have tools to sav myself, I have parents that give m everything, and friends that do nothing but care about me. Noooo, nooo, NOOOOOO!!! I… I… I'm not gonna.._

"NO!!!!!!!!" Peter heard the scream from upstairs and flew into his son's room. He moved to the bathroom, and saw his baby boy on the floor crying, eyes huge. Peter's own eyes streamed tears as he slide ontp the floor with his beloved boy.

" Oh, honey bear… Shhh, sshhhh, daddy's here. Yes that's my baby boy, its OK Daddy's with you. " h kissed him all over, and cradled his shaking little one in his arms.

"Daddy, something's happening. Something, something… I.. ccan't control, its, its…" Petr held him tighter, rocking back and forth.

"Bunny, don't try… just slow, I'll sit here all night. Slowly, slowly, just keep it slow. When you are ready to continue then you do that. Kay, pumpkin? There's no rush, that's my boy. OK, OK, we're alright, Sshhh…"

"Daddy… Daddy… she's back, I can't fight her like before. She came back, she's in my head again. I can't close my eyes, I… I… can't rlase the pain unless I hurt myself.. What's wrong with me?"

"Bunny, there is nothing wrong with you. Trauma is not on a clock, rmember when we snuggled on the floor that night, and I told you 'Baby this is going to take time'. It's not over.." Scott grabbed fistfuls of is shirt.

"I feel really sick, can we yst stay her.."

"Yes baby we can. Get everything straight before I get you up." Peter gently rubbed his head, and realized his jeans were soaked. He put his lips to Scott's hair, and knew that as hard as it was to watch it he loved every minute of It at the same time.

"I'm sorry…" Scott ehispered, Peter's heart shattered.

"Sweetie, sshhh, sshhh, Daddy's gonna fix everything." H picked up his son, and laid Scott on the bed. He pulled clean sweatpants on him, and gently rubbed his head.

"A panic attack is when your adrenalin overpowers the rest of your motions and takes over your body so that it protects itself against what your psychological pain is. Often any excess fluids you have control over come out." Peter whispered.

"daddy, will you rock me, please.." he didn't even finish, Peter gathered him up, and turned the lights out. They laid in the dark, listening to the night sounds. Peter knew a special lullaby was needed for tonight, a song he had been putting off for a special time like this.

"Close your eyes and have no fear. The monster gone, he's on the run and your daddy's here…" Scott's tars came all over again as he heard his father singing. His pain gone and demons washed away.

**HG**

Peter and Sophie collapsed outside on the swing. They were drained from two nights of no sleep. Peter was worse having spent a night in the ER with Jules. Sophie handed him a bottle of Pellegrino and they both put their feet up.

"Jules asks me the same question over and over. I've never seen fear eat up a kid like her. She was silent in group, and no one pushed her.. What happened to my beautiful boy?" Sophie mother lion kicked in.

"If you hear what my solution is you will die right here. The Bitch is back, and I found him on the bathroom floor having a panic attack. I changed his jeans, and sang him a lullaby.. He… he didn't want to ruin such a wonderful progress streak by telling us. Honey, he's afraid of sharp objects. He was leaning against the wall shaking because h didn't want to b tempted by the razor to hurt himself…"

"Peter, did he…"

"Yes, I've seen it thousands of times. They can't control their bodies, and everything let's loose. Stupid me didn't take him this morning,"

"I did, he was fine. The razor was in the same spot. Why now?"

"I don't know. Anything can happen when they are abused. Why do you think he wanted to get back here when he realized his father was such a shitty parent and didn't give a crap about his trauma." Peter's eyes went angry; sometimes he wondered how these fucked up parents ever got kids.

"How did you get passed his father with the adoption?"

"The fact that the piece of garbage beat him. When he hugged m for the first time, I… I knew… that he was our baby." Peter whispered.

"Come on, let's go check on the little ones."


	15. Chapter 15

**Did I Tell You I Love You?**

**PG13**

Peter moved Scott's hair out f his eyes, and tucked the blankets under him tighter. Grazing a hand over his sleeping child, he on impulse crawled in bed with him, and wrapped him in the shelter of his arms.

"Once upon a time there was a little boy that was very alone, and he didn't know when he was going to be free. And then h saw a light shining, and realized the one thing he was looking for was love. He found it there, at the end of the darkness, warm and ready for him." Scott stirred and wrapped his arms around Peter's neck.

"No, Daddy…"

"Daddy's here, its OK Daddy's gotcha. You'r wrapped up tight, no one's gonna hurt you ever again."

"Daddy, don't let her hurt me… She's here, she won't leav me alone." Peter this time fully woke him, since he was restless anyway.

"My angel, my baby boy everything will be alright." Peter whispered stroking his son's face.

"Can you turn on the bathroom light… please?" Peter knew this was getting bad. He got up, and turned it on.

"Better?" Peter got back under the covers and held him close. He could feel something was wrong. His instincts were getting sharper with the time.

"Is it true Mom parachuted off a cliff right in front of you?"Peter grinned, and laughed.

"Yeah baby, its true."

"You never took me parachuting." Peter raised both eyebrows.

"When we talked about it, her and I.. It was something that keeps trust because if you don't trust the other person you're dead. You, my little one are ready for it. But you can't be scared, you have to trust me." Scott wrapped his arms around Peter, and they soaked in the bond that was unbreakable.

"You would never put me in harm's way." Peter's eyes misted, and he tightened his grip.

"No, no baby, you will always be safe with me. Always." Scott knew he was right, knew that their love was the strongest thing he had ever experienced.

"Baby, com on we have to sleep.." at the mention of sleep Scott want stiff.

"What? What hurts?" the dam of tears started again. The thought of a sedative entered his mind, but that would be a disaster.

"Listen to me pumpkin… When have I not heard your cry, even when I was in a different part of the house? I will never not hear you cry." Peter whispered, stroking his face over. Scott put his head on Peter's shoulder, and Peter cooed into his ear.

"I'm here, I'm right here bunny. I won't let you go, do you hear me, I'll never let you go. I'll always be here to hold you close and keep your demons away. It's OK, Daddy's here, Daddy's here, I'll never leave you, ever." Peter kept his tone soft and gentle.

"Don't let me go, never let me go."

"Never baby, do you hear me. Never." Peter knew he was his fortress that would never be broken into. They were an eternal unit with Sophie and that would never break.

"Sleep my baby. Sleep and it will all be over soon. I promise." Peter whispered that one last thing until he knew his baby was in dreamland.

**HG**

"What ya doing baby?" Sophie leaned to see what Jules was working on.

"A calendar counting the days til we leave forever. And you and Peter will b just a thing of the past for me." She blinked. Sophie pulled her into a hug.

"Honey, listen to me. That's a long time away from now. Don't think about it right this minute." Sophie said gently.

"I… I can't help it. I just… I feel it deep insode and it keeps biting at me… I can't stop it.." Sophie smoothed her hair.

"Like that feeling in the pit of your tummy that won't go away.." she nodded, holding tight to Sophie.

"Here, come lay down with me upstairs, com on sweetie." Jules let herself be led, and couldn't wait to be held by a real _mom_. She laid down and let Sophie take off hr shoes, and murmur in her ear, rocking her gently.

Peter was in a half sleep, and thought he hard gagging. It couldn't be… he shot up and saw Scott's side empty. H ran down the hall to the bathroom, and opened the door.

"Honey, what's the matter…" he dropped and wrapped his arms around him. Scott felt the warmth of his father, and thee safety of his touch.

"I'm so sore…"

"Where baby?" he pointed to below his bellybutton, and Peter knew what was wrong. He panicked and it got the better of him.

"bunny why didn't you wake me?"

"I left the door open so that I'd wake you like that.. My gag refluxes wouldn't have cooperated with me to get you up." He leaned back against Peter.

"God, you're so wonderful… you know you're my boy. Hey, did I tell you how much I love you?" Scott grinned, and shook his head.

"What, no I didn't. I love you so much I can't tell you baby, I can't even begin to tell you how much you're loved. Me, mommy, all your friends… we're never going to leave you. Ever." Scott wrapped his arms around his dad. Peter didn't think his grip could gt so tight, but it did, and he knew it would never let go.


	16. Chapter 16

**Don't Ever Leave Me**

**PG13**

Peter lay on the couch with Scott at his feet. The others all piled on the chairs in the lodge. Sophie laughed it her husband's antics.

"Anyone hear from Kat?" Auggie asked.

"I think she's gonna write when she gets her mailbox at school. Apparently that takes a week." Peter said reaching over, and holding Scott's hand.

"So I hear the dare-devil is taking you parachuting.." EZ said grinning his typical evil grin. Scott laughed.

"Umm, eventually… until I learn how to make the thing pull out so I don't kill myself." Scott suddenly felt nervous, he put his head down, trying to make the bad feelings stop.

"What's the matter?" Jules asked, eying Shelby nervously. Auggie bit his lip, and grabbed Jules's hand.

"When one does that it is either related to exhaustion or there is stress because the brain is thinking about something you wish to repress." Daisy explained, trying to get Scott talking.

"Baby, what's the matter…" Peter put an arm around him, and pulled him close. Scott couldn't talk. He was frozen, and just hoped his father read the signals.

"Alright angel, com on… Its OK, I think this was a big step for us anyway." He lay his head on Peter's shoulder, knowing he was safe.

**HG**

Peter and Sophie got ready for bed in silence. Peter could have kicked himself, pushing Scott too hard like that. The same area where all his pain was, why had he not seen it. Sophie was in the bathroom, and he waited til she cam out to talk.

"I warned you not to do it.. He's sick and I think we pushed him too hard." Peter shook his head, and pulled a shirt on.

"I think we both need to pay attention to his limits." Sophie said, she walked out to check on their baby.

"Mommy…" Scott whispered half asleep, Sophie curled up next to him, and put his ear to her chest.

"Yea baby, mama's with you. I'll never leave you ever again. No one's gonna take you from us." Scott soaked in the love he felt, and let himself b drowned in love.

"Want me to turn the light out?"

"Mkay.." Sophie couldn't help but realize how far to go they had. His brain was regressing but then again, was it the worst thing. Had they not been through worse with their baby.

"Baby, im sorry he pushed you too hard… We didn't know that was the way you'd react. He made a mistake and he's sorry." Scott said nothing, he was hurting too much. He had never sn a side where the number one person in his life made a mistake, it was killing him inside.

"He…" Scott couldn't talk, he just couldn't talk. He knew what he wanted to say but it wouldn't come out of him.

"Do you want me to get him?" Scott nodded. He couldn't sleep without talking to Peter.

**HG**

"Listen to me bunny.." Peter bgan slow since they had not spoken to each other all night.

"Everyone has stuff they screw up. It's apart of life, and everyone deals with it. Its just what happens, and you know it doesn't mean that I wouldn't walk through fire for you." Peter whispered, he stroked his face and lay Scott's head on his heart.

"I thought I was getting back to normal…"

"Listen, it just takes time. Look at what happened to Jules, and how she can never be for of her pain. You had a little taste of that for a few weeks.. So we kinda went a bit fast, and thought you were ready for more. We'll go slow again."

"Can you hold on tighter…" Peter didn't think twice and tightened his grip. He was shocked that he wanted it, things must be really bad.

"Talk to me…" Peter whispered.

"The nights are worse, even when I'm next to you, I… I see her and then I…. start shaking, and I'm sweating all over. Even when its cold out…" Peter pressed a kiss onto his forehead and starting rocking his precious little boy.

"I thought the rule was you wake me when you feel scared."

"You do everything around here. I know I'm not your only problem…" Peter grabbed his face.

"Baby listen to me, when I called that judge and told him to give you to us, I knew what I was doing. You have given us so much… You gave m the love I needed all along, and taking care of someone else is the only thing we want to do. Do you know how much you are loved?" Peter had tears in his eyes, and Scott threw his arms around him.

"Daddy,"

"What baby?"

"Can you sing the lullaby?" Peter smiled, and started rocking him.

"Close your eyes and have no fear. The monster's gon h's on the run and your Daddy's here…"

**HG**

Peter listened to his son's breathing, and smiled. He was going to stay awake to hear Scott cry, or wake up. H wasn't going to let him be alone. It was 3:45 and he was exhausted. But to let his baby hurt was not going to happen. He was going to save his baby if it was the last thing he did.

"He's asleep?" Peter nodded.

"If he has a nightmare wake me.. Jules and I are in our room."

"Peter, sleep or you'll be useless tomorrow. He is. You're gonna be shot if you don't sleep for three nights. I just put Jules down, com on.." Peter looked down at his baby, and kissed him again. His arms were tighter with every breath, he wasn't going to let his little one suffer.


End file.
